we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
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