If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
