Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize