so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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