I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
