i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
foreskin is a definite game changer
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
MIDGETS
????
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Randomize
