Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
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