i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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