I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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