Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
