i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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