Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
