can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
