hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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