I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Randomize
