i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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