I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
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