But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Randomize
