If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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