you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
