Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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