awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
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