were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
