she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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