So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
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