I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Semen is not good for contacts.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
