I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Panties = found
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
