Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
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