How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Randomize
