Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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