I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
