oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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