fuck your aforementioned shoe
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
