Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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