Four minutes until I can fart!
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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