when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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