i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Too much gin, very little bucket
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Randomize
