so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
