If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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