Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Randomize
