someone threw a dead crab at me
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
