i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
