chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Randomize
