It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Randomize
