my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
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