Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Randomize
