im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
