You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
