Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Randomize
