I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
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