I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
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