so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
