Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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