put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
Randomize
