sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize