I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I think a kid would responsible me up
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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