Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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