I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I AM VODKA MAN
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize
