just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Randomize
