I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Randomize
