ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
