if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
If I die, sorry about rent.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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