forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
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