So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Randomize
