My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
