On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
