They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
